Miss Woodhouse's Musings

…about life, the universe, and everything. Don't panic!

The Things We Say

on 7 August 2010

Starbucks baristas are funny. Maybe not always “give me a microphone and I’ll do stand up” funny, but still pretty funny. What’s more important is that we crack each other up. So, I thought that I’d share a few of my favourite gems that stand the test of time!

Customer 1: (after giving a long and complicated order for other people from a post it note) “And I need a venti latte. Can you just throw a packet of artificial sweetener in there for me too?”

Barista 1: “Sure. Venti- one artificial sweetener- latte.”

Barista 2: “Would you like to ask the customer if they want pink, yellow, or blue?”

Barista 1: “Can’t it be barista’s choice?”

Barista 2: “No.”


Barista 1: (Excitedly) “Yay! I have time to restock merchandise before I have to clock off!”

Barista 2: (Rolls eyes) “Some little town in the Midwest is missing a cheerleader.”


Barista 1: “Sir, would you like room for cream in your croissant?”

Barista 2: “No, but I bet they’d like room for cream in their coffee.”


Barista 1: “I was so automated after years at the drive-through, that at Thanksgiving my Grandma asked me to pray and without thinking I started with, ‘Dear God, thank you for choosing Starbucks how can I help you today?’.”

Those are just some of the funniest that don’t need any explanation. One day I’ll post a few that need some extensive set-ups. Until then; happy weekend!

Vincent Via


6 responses to “The Things We Say

  1. Catherine says:

    Those are great! I think the “Dear God, thank you for choosing Starbucks” is my favorite though. Too funny :-)

    I know I’ve said countless funny/backwards things while teaching…but none of them are coming to mind at the moment! It happens to all of us I suppose.


  2. Fox says:

    When I was in restaurant management (for 4 looooooong looooooooooooooong years), I recall answering my home phone, “Hello and thank you for calling Joyce’s Di–oh god!–I mean Hello!?”

    And at one point I worked for McDonald’s (my first job) and then worked for Burger King immediately after. Well, I was so set from working McD’s that I made the GRAVE GRAVE error one day of working drive thru and answering the bell with, “Welcome to McDonald’s! Would you like to try a Big Mac meal today?” with the manager listening on another headset. O.O That may have been the last time I blushed, come to think of it. I quickly corrected myself with much chagrin and under the glare of my manager. *grin*

    Fortunately, once I was managing restaurants myself, I easily forgave my employees for such transgressions. In fact I usually burst out laughing since I recalled my own mistakes. :) (Yeah, my employees used to fight over who got to work on my shift.) ;)

    • Bless you for being in management. Heaven knows I wouldn’t want to put up with what my managers do. ;)

      I *love* your stories! The phone one is a crack up, and I’ll have to make sure not to go work for Starbucks’ competition directly after this. How funny!!!!! :D -MissW

  3. Jodi says:

    Too funny! I’ve never worked at Starbucks but many of my friends have or still do and I love hearing their funny stories! You should post more!!

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