Miss Woodhouse's Musings

…about life, the universe, and everything. Don't panic!

The Craziness at the Bottom of the Coffee Cup

on 17 July 2010

Our store opened on an April 1st. In a way, I think that this explains the most fully just why we are insane. I frequently refer to our store as the biggest April Fool’s Day joke, and no one really argues with me. We, in short, are mad as March hatters…hares…hatters…oh, nevermind.

We’re crazy.

So are the customers.

So is the company.

Need proof? Oh, I can help with that! Let’s start on the partner level. Here are some of the crazy things we do!

Got Coffee?

First, I should explain what you are looking at. If your store has a warming oven, then you might have noticed that there’s a trash bin underneath, neatly hidden behind a drawer. The theory is that you put a large trash bag into the metal bin, and only use it for the paper and plastic waste associated with warming up sandwiches and pastries.

However, our store is crazy. Apparently, this particular day not only did someone decide to forgo the trash bag (issue #1), but they, for some unknown, mysterious purpose, decided to then dump a pound of coffee beans in the drawer.


Yeah, not sure why.

What you may not be able to see is that this drawer is about 16 inches deep and 24 inches wide. This was no picnic to clean up- in fact, three of us just stood there for a good two minutes staring at, well, this.

Yeah. Moving on!

We love celebrations. We also love having a¬†hierarchy¬†of seniority. Since most of our store’s partners have been with the company 4+ years, this is usually based on age.

I was the youngest for a brief moment in time; now, there’s a partner younger than I! Yay! Thing is, it drives him nuts that I’m older, and that our birthdays are only 3 days apart (and that mine comes before his!). So, weeks beforehand we took over the main whiteboard, and this was the result (he’s a talented artist!):

The only problem is that this board is in full view of the customers…and we put our birthday messages up a month before the events took place. For some weird reason, this really confused the customers. Can’t imagine why….

Because, let’s face it: our customers are crazy too! We absolutely adore their crazy selves, and wouldn’t have it any other way. For example, look at how they tip us:


We know who did a few of them, but several of them just randomly showed up!

More Stor-o-gami!

See? They are nuts!

Okay, now we really start to have some fun! I feel that I must preface these remarks by assuring you, dear readers, that I have full permission to use this on the blog. I asked permission. Three times. In front of witnesses.


Among our amazing regular customers, we have these two men that come in every day/night. One of them is a motion graphics artist, Steve. Jim works with the Census. He’s also quite talented in Kenjutsu. When I remember, I call him Sensei.

After this latest escapade, we have a new nickname for him; but there I go getting ahead of myself again!

They’ve become quite good buddies over the past few months, and when the two of them put their heads together…well it scares me just a lot. Suffice it to say that for a certain reason, Sensei is teaching Steve the art of Kenjutsu. At Starbucks. Right beside our store. In full view of all baristas, customers, and the highway that runs beside the store.

Did I get video of the first lesson? But of course! Enjoy!

I’m really proud of myself that you can barely hear me giggling. However, after seeing the videos Mum decided that we needed to call them Obi-Jim and Luke. I might have fallen on the floor laughing at that; but there’s no proof of that.

Speaking of proof, let’s wrap this up! For my last exhibit, I’d like to present proof that corporate is as nutty as we are. Ladies and gentlemen of the blog jury, I present Exhibit A:

There's got to be a better way to say this....

Okay, let’s not even talk about how “Until” lost its “i”. I’m sure that it’s a painful story with no bearing on this case. However, I do have to wonder exactly how we are supposed to follow these directions. I mean, I understand the intent, but they are asking the impossible. There is no way to take a loaf of lemon pound cake and instantly thaw it.

These directions are physically impossible. The defence rests!

Well, I think that’s quite enough fun for one post. Until next time, stay cool. No, I mean it! You aren’t allowed to thaw yet!!!


8 responses to “The Craziness at the Bottom of the Coffee Cup

  1. mum says:

    Great post!! All this, and warm Monkey Bread, too! (Oooohh — another post for another day, perhaps?)! The fact that I know it’s all true only makes it more enjoyable to “relive” through your post! I’m delighted to be a small part of this crazy makeshift “family”…..I think…..

    Love you,

    • Darn! I never got a picture of the monkey bread- will just have to get pictures of the “monkeys” instead! It is just a big, crazy, mixed-up family; customers and coworkers all blended together. Besides, we all love it when you come in and hang out!!!! Love you bunches! -MissW

  2. regancoomer says:

    Thank you MissW for brightening up my not-so-great day with your coffee antics and musings!! I will be checking back for more Starbucks craziness.

    Btw I didn’t realize you were a partner in a store, I just thought you really liked Starbucks, ; )

    • I’m glad that it made your day better! Trust me, there is always more craziness in store at Starbucks. Just when things seem to settle down, something even crazier happens. :D Thanks for reading! -MissW

  3. Melody says:

    Hi Emma! That was funny! I loved the “keep frozen unt l thawed” – That’s the kind of thing that gives me a good laugh. And the money-origami is amazing! Definitely enjoyed this one! Melody

    • Hi Melody! I’m glad you got a few laughs. :) Yes, my fellow grammar-obsessed coworker and I were flummoxed by the food label. Also by the frappuccino misspellings, but that’s a post for another day. I’ll do a whole post on the stor-o-gami too in a few weeks…. Thanks so much for dropping by! -Emma

  4. That is actually quite scary, how on earth do you get any work done?
    Do you get paid for what you do?

    Great post EW and well written as per normal.
    Steve P.

    • Ha! We do indeed get work done, somehow; it’s these moments of craziness that make it all worthwhile. Although, I don’t think any of us would stand for NOT being paid to deal with the nuttiness. I’m glad you enjoyed…. -MissW

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