Miss Woodhouse's Musings

…about life, the universe, and everything. Don't panic!

Facade

on 14 June 2010

Confession time: it’s been years since I’ve written proper poetry.

By proper, I mean poetry that has rhyme, rhythm, and form; poetry that expresses feelings in roundabout and new ways.

Let’s face it: good poetry takes time. I haven’t that much time.

Good poetry takes life experience and inspiration. Want to read a poem about a frazzled barista? Didn’t think so.

However, I do write free-form poetry sometimes. Often, it’s spur-of-the-moment; I have a thought, I jot it down. Thus, when I discover it a few months later, I’ve no memory of actually writing the piece.

Except, it’s not good enough for anyone else to have written it. Ergo, it must be mine!

I’m not sure, then, what prompted me to write this piece. Maybe it was the stress of work, maybe not liking what path school was forcing me to take, maybe frustrations with my friends. Whatever the case, I apparently was trying to deck myself upside the head and tell myself to get a grip!

I think it worked.

Lately, I’ve been a lot more honest with myself. When I’m upset, I tell myself I’m upset. When I’m happy about something, I’m trying to let myself be happy. Basically, I’m a little afraid that life is flying by, and that I’m missing it by always trying to act a certain way, do certain things, be a certain type of person.

This also must be from last Fall, because there are a lot of Shakespearian sonnet references in this. Just saying….

Oh! Bonus points if you can find the Shakespeare influences! Leave your guesses in the comments.

Anyway, I’ll be very open here and *gasp* share this little glimpse into my past. Just please, please, be gentle with me!

When the façade slips

When you see me as I truly am

Sad, scared, seeking approval

Too long-sought, too hardly won.

Never finding rest

Peace.

Fleeing from myself

If I don’t like me, why should you?

I’m just a player in this

Game of chance that we call

Life.

Moved by the force of others

A ball knocked from the wicket gate

By the turn of another.

Influenced by none

Guided by all.

Who am I?

The daughter, sister, worker, friend?

Or something deeper-

Am I myself? If so

This is hidden too well

A secret guarded by

A wall of sorts

A wall of right

A wall of will

A wall of acting

A façade.

Who I am lies beneath

Ready for you to see me

As I am

If I ever let the façade

Slip.

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5 responses to “Facade

  1. Fox says:

    I dig it. Better yet, I totally get it. I was there for some time. :)\

    Also, I never really cared about proper form for poetry. It’s like clocks. They break up the day into smaller and smaller increments and force us to be in certain places at certain “times”. I can’t live by their rules, man!!! *shakes fist at sky*

    ;)

    • That’s a great point: I know I’m not alone in feeling this way sometimes. (In fact, I almost tried to post this as Author Unknown. Bad blogger! :D )

      I love your poetry/clock comparison. Sometimes structure is good; sometimes it drives you up a wall. Sonnets nearly do me in. Too many rules!!!! :)

  2. Sarah says:

    I love that poem! And I definitely know the feeling. Especially “If I don’t like me, why should you?” I think that about myself all the time, and am constantly working on learning to love myself.
    Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks for reading it, Sarah! Yes, that’s my biggest struggle too- learning to like/love myself. It’s easy to let other people like/love you, and it’s easy to like/love others. It’s hard to accept yourself. :)

  3. […] Facade « Miss Woodhouse's Musings […]

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