Miss Woodhouse's Musings

…about life, the universe, and everything. Don't panic!

‘Tis the season to be…hmmmm?

on 12 December 2009

To my dear customers,

The holiday season is a busy time, and I’m honored that you still take the time to drop in for your coffee, pastries, and merchandise. However, maybe you should take some time to chill out and smell some poinsettias. No, really; I mean this. It’s for your own good.

What? You don’t understand what would make me say this? Well then, allow me to give you four examples of why it’s time to take a breath.

Customer A ordered a grande latte, and a cinnamon coffee cake. I was on bar, so I made A her drink. She stood at the handoff plane, talking on her cell phone, and waiting for her drink. Talking on her cell phone, and holding one of our brown pastry bags in the same hand. This is important.

When I handed her the latte, she leaned forward and in a very kind manner asked if I would get her the coffee cake she ordered because the register person forgot to give it to her. I noticed the bag, but thought that maybe she ordered two pastries so I went to grab her another cake. On my way, the register barista stopped me, and walked over to the customer (who is an old friend of hers), gave her a hug, and pointed to the bag already in her hand.

Customer B came in and bought a bag of coffee. While I was grinding it for him, he walked out the door, got into the car, and drove away. It was two hours before he came back looking for that elusive pound of coffee.

Customer C asked for a gingerbread loaf and a blueberry muffin. They also asked me to put the little bags into a bigger bag together. Then they proceeded to leave the store and abandon the pastries, never to be heard from again.

Customer D ordered a venti Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino. He didn’t have enough money on him, so he ran out to the car to grab the money he needed to complete the transaction. He came back in, paid for his drink, and apparently left the building since his drink went unclaimed.

So, dear customers, accept this evidence as fact that you need a break. If you’re doing this to us, chances are you are doing the same elsewhere. Take a break, relax, and have a Merry Christmas!

With love,

Your barista

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